The wizard Margle the Horrendous takes special pride in never killing his enemies. Instead, he transforms them into various accursed forms and locks them away in his castle. His halls are filled with his collection of fallen heroes and defeated villains, along with a few ordinary folk who were just unfortunate enough to draw Margle’s attention.
It’s Nessy’s duty to tend this castle. It’s a lot of work, but she manages, taking pride in housekeeping talents that keep the castle from collapsing into chaos. But when Margle suddenly dies, everything begins to unravel. Nessy finds herself surrounded by monsters, curses, a door that should never be opened, and one very deadly dark wizardess.
Nessy doesn’t have might or magic on her side; she’s just a kobold: short, furry, and sensible. Her allies aren’t much better: a voice without a body, an angry fruit bat, a monster under her bed, a wizard in a jar (or some of him, anyway), and a one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple, people eater. It would be smarter to walk away, but taking care of the castle is Nessy’s job, and that’s just what she intends to do.
If only she could find time to polish the silver while beating back the forces of darkness.
Praise for A. Lee Martinez:
“Fans of Douglas Adams and Joe R. Lansdale will happily sink their teeth into this combo platter of raunchy laughs and ectoplasmic ecstasy.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review)
“This comic horror-fantasy is packed with warped humor and action. The characters are likable, three-dimensional, and quirky. The story is fast paced, interesting, and unpredictable. Martinez carves out a nice little bit of entertainment with surprising depth.” —School Library Journal
“Delightfully droll, this comic romp will be a crowd-pleaser.” —Booklist
“Can a vampire find true love with a ghost? Can a teenage witch open the gates of Hell? Anything can happen in A. Lee Martinez’s horribly wacky debut.” —Charlaine Harris, bestselling author of Dead to the World
“ Gil’s All Fright Diner is a hoot of a novel. Fast-paced, Texas-wit-funny, sharply written, sharply observed. Pure blood-sweet entertainment from Martinez, a writer whose future books I look forward to.” —Joe R. Lansdale, author Sunset and Sawdust
“On the strength of this hilarious book, I’ll follow Martinez anywhere he feels like going. Not since Christopher Moore has anyone managed to make The Damned so damned funny.” —Spider Robinson, bestselling author of Callahan's Con
“A rippingly wonderful novel, funny enough to wake the dead and gripping enough to captivate the living.” —David Lubar, author of Hidden Talents and Flip
“Martinez tickles the funny bone in this delightful, fast-paced mishmash of SF
and hard-boiled detective story. . . .Eccentric characters, all of whom are clever twists on stereotypes, populate a smart, rocket-fast read with a
clever, twisty plot that comes to a satisfying conclusion.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review)
“a funny, innovative high-speed romp through the dystopian world of the future. . .Martinez crafts a private eye in the best tradition of hard-boiled futuristic detection.” —Booklist
“A brief description hardly does justice to this marvelous alternative world. . . This one is fun from bitter bot to brainy dame.” —The Globe and Mail
“Reformed warrior robot Mack Megaton searches for a missing family—and a moral purpose—in a city of exotic mutants. . . . Mack’s smash-and-grab mission acquires some satisfying philosophical heft.” —Entertainment Weekly
Length: 320 pp
Chinese (complex) rights, Gaea
English (North American) rights, Tor Books
German rights, Piper Verlag
Audio rights, Audible
For all other rights contact The Cooke Agency.
||A. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil’s All Fright Diner, was published. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he’s in the car by himself.
A. Lee Martinez’s website can be found at www.aleemartinez.com.